It has been a really long time since I last went for a SNYO rehearsal!
Today's rehearsal was rather fresh to me as I saw many new faces and had many old memories refreshed. :)
On a deeper note, I began to feel very different vibes when I step into the rehearsal room. As I grow older, I ponder on more issues and gradually distinguish my likes and dislikes, slowly weaving a clearer imaginary line between the two. Well, I feel that I do not fit well into the music world after all. What sso concert, this concert master that second violin principal etc. I realized that I don't have much interest in them. I came to a conclusion somehow that I joined music ccas because of my perculiar talent - talent in music. I learn music stuff somewhat faster than many people and stuff like that. That, is the reason why I stepped into this seemingly simple yet unfathomably complex music world. What politics, positions, relations. I am sick of them already.
What good is my music talent to me when I don't appreciate it(at least for now)? I need to discover where my interest lies.
Somewhere over the rainbow.
Things will change.
I learnt so much this holidays. A lot a lot. I now truly understand the importance of putting oneself in another's shoes.